Divorced But Celebrate Valentine's Day - Not What It Sounds Like
Posted: 14th February 2015
Posted in: News
Posted by: Dean Evans, Partner
It’s Valentine’s Day – Will You Celebrate it Like This?
For a separated or divorced person, you may cringe at the thought of Valentine’s Day. It may trigger loneliness or generate feelings of malevolence towards a prior spouse.
However, we have come across some ideas published by Bari Zell Weinberger, Esq in the US (where Valentine’s Day is so much bigger than here), which might help you think about Valentine’s Day from a different perspective.
Weinberger suggests the following:-
- Help your kids make Valentine’s Day card for their other parent: The love may be gone from your relationship with your former spouse, but be considerate of your child’s love and affection for their mom or dad. Think back to the days when you helped your kids pick out or a make a card or treat for your spouse, and how excited your child was to have a special something to give. Keeping up these kinds of traditions can be important because it shows you respect your child’s relationship with their other parent. It’s also a great lesson in how to put your child’s feelings first.
- Give your children the Valentine’s Day gift of no arguing: Valentine’s Day this year is on a Saturday. Is this your custody swap day? If you must have contact with your former spouse on February 14, give your kids the day off from negative comments about their other parent and commit to not arguing in front of them. Who knows? This temporary truce might set the stage for a more permanent ceasefire when you realize that you are capable of speaking civilly to one another.
- Start New Traditions: If you have the kids on Valentine’s Day, there are many easy ways to make your time together fun and memorable. Pinterest is packed with Valentine’s Day craft ideas that can be created with basic art supplies and other items you probably already have on hand. Bouquet of tissue paper roses, anyone? If baking is more your thing, why not whip up a batch of chocolate brownies and top with heart-shaped strawberries? For pennies, the good times and memories you’ll make will be priceless.
- Spend Time Together as a Family: If your relationship with your former spouse is calm enough, think about going out for dinner in a group family setting on Valentine’s Day or invite your child’s other parent over for all of you to share a meal as a way to celebrate the love you both feel for your children. Was there a specific Valentine’s Day tradition you always took part in as a family? For example, maybe you always watched Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast or another heartwarming Disney movie together? Then by all means, if you are at all able to, keep these traditions going.
No matter how you end up spending February 14 with your kids, when you wake up on February 15, remember that all love you celebrated on Valentine’s Day is something that children — especially kids going through the transition of divorce — could benefit from being reminded of every day of the year.”
It’s food for thought here in Australia, particularly given that in some schools, teachers merrily help the kids make cards and kids take pleasure in gifting them.
We wholeheartedly support the view that kids benefit from their separated parents exhibiting the example (for their children to observe) of goodwill towards one another, cementing a good working relationship by understanding and engendering respect for the fact that kids cherish their parents regardless of divorce or separation.
Have a think on this – it might be a worthwhile project for your kids in time for a Saturday delivery!
Credit here to @weinbergerlaw – well done